Mar. 10, 2017

Apparently I attract unwanted attention everywhere.

Even in traffic, I attract attention.  That's not always a good thing.  However, this time, it's funny.  Many of you know that I have no shame when it comes to jammin' out.  So I'm stuck in the slowest line of traffic after work and I'm listening to "That's What I Like" by Bruno Mars.  This song just gets me dancing and singing along.  Keep in mind that I'm sitting in my car, in traffic, and we're at a standstill.  Apparently the guy in the car in front of me was watching.  When we are stuck in the same spot for about 5 minutes, all of a sudden, he parks, gets out of his car, and swaggers to my car.  Yes swaggers!  Of course, my window is down because it's warm enough so it's down.  Here's how the "smooth operator" approaches me.

Him: Hey mami, I been watching you.  I need those lips and those moves on my lap so how bout it?

Me: (eyebrow raise) You need to get back to your car before you get hit brah.

Him: Ooh you an island girl.  Def need doze digits.  Come on mami.  Don't let a brotha down.

Me: (smirking) Okay. (gives him the number to Movin 92.5's Loser Line.  LOL!)

Him: See? That wasn't hard.  Not like me.  (Seriously? Ew.) (He looks at my lips) Can I bite them? 

Me: (Now I'm struggling not to gag and wondering why the hell the line hasn't even moved yet.)  Hell no.  I don't know you.

Him: (Glances at the line in front of us then puts his hand on my arm.) Come on.  Real quick.  I can feel that I turn you on.  Your skin is hot.  (I'm fighting a fever of 102 you idiot.)

Me: (I pull my arm in and start to roll up the window.) Get back in your car dude.

He walks back to his car but turns around and signs that he'd call me.  Uh no he won't.  He gets to call the Loser Line! 


My life is never boring.