Looking intimidating works sometimes.
This episode left me smirking. If you don’t know me personally, you just might think I’m intimidating. Someone you don’t want to come across in a dark alley. At least that’s what I’ve been told several times. I’m built like a Samoan linebacker. On the short side, but a linebacker none the less. My tattooed arms are the size of an average person’s legs and probably with the same amount of strength, if I do say so, myself.
So here’s what happened this evening. After work, I went to a store, got what I needed, and was walking back to my car. Almost immediately, I noticed a guy walking around my car. I’m naturally suspicious, so I kept watching as I got closer. I had my shades on, so I looked like I could be looking anywhere. Once the guy started looking into my car and tried two of the handles, I pulled a Coach Boomer from Sky High. (If you don’t know who that is, he’s a gym teacher on the movie Sky High who has powers. His voice does a sonic boom thing. I can do that, but without the special effects. Just the audio punch. LOL!)
Me: Hey! Get away from that car!
Him: (Jumps, glances at me then away.) I locked my keys inside.
Me: That’s not your car, you idiot.
Him: (He looks at me then backs away from the car, hands out) It is my car. Why would I try to break into a car if it’s not mine?
You see, my car is very distinguishable. It has Hawaiian print car seat covers, a Guam flag and a Seahawks kukui nut lei hanging from the rearview mirror, a Guam license plate frame, oh and a huge Chamorro decal on the back window.
Me: (Cracked my neck and pulled my gloves off, then set my bag on the ground) I’ll tell you one more time to move away from the car before I beat you.
Him: (Backs away more.) Come on sistah, I don’t want no trouble. I just need to get inside my car.
Me: That’s not your car. It’s mine. (And I click the panic button on my key fob and the alarm goes off.)
And ...he runs off.
What an idiot!
<sigh> My life is never boring.