Why do people provoke me?
You’d think that if I changed where I shopped, that the weirdness would stop. Nope. I guess I’m just a magnet for weird people.
So I went into a grocery store that I had never shopped at before. I’m wearing my Ceej’s Life Reads hoodie, jammin along, headphones on high, listening to my brother Rico Swain’s latest album. Yes, I am dancing a little bit. I have no shame when I have music in my ears.
Have you ever gotten that feeling that someone’s watching you? I will admit that I initially thought that someone was following me to make sure I don’t steal. Not the first time that’s happened, trust me. I didn’t figure out who it was until I was in the parking lot, walking to my car. Imagine it: dark parking lot and a stranger approaching me. Anyone else see me with my back up and my fists clenched? Turns out there was no threat. Here’s the convo:
Him: Hey beautiful, you forgot something.
Me: (eyebrow cocked) No I didn’t, but thanks.
Him: Yeah you did. You forgot to give me your number.
Me: (rolling my eyes) That’s original. You won’t be getting it. Have a good night.
Him: (grabs my forearm) Come on baby, you know that I got what you need. (proceeds to grab his junk)
Why do guys think that’s gonna work??
Me: (Looks at his hand holding my arm then at him) You have 2 seconds to remove your hand or you’re going to get hurt.
Him: (moves in) You read those dirty books. You know you like it dirty. I can give it to you.
Me: (He made the wrong decision. So I grabbed his hand and bent his thumb back, and kneed him in the balls) I have a man and he gives it better than you ever could. And you didn’t listen. Wrong woman to mess with. I can make it so every time you swallow, you choke on your own balls.
I really try not to get into altercations. Why do people provoke me?
<sigh> My life is never boring.