May. 15, 2017

Why do people provoke me?

You’d think that if I changed where I shopped, that the weirdness would stop.  Nope.  I guess I’m just a magnet for weird people. 

So I went into a grocery store that I had never shopped at before.  I’m wearing my Ceej’s Life Reads hoodie, jammin along, headphones on high, listening to my brother Rico Swain’s latest album.  Yes, I am dancing a little bit.  I have no shame when I have music in my ears. 

Have you ever gotten that feeling that someone’s watching you?  I will admit that I initially thought that someone was following me to make sure I don’t steal.  Not the first time that’s happened, trust me.  I didn’t figure out who it was until I was in the parking lot, walking to my car.  Imagine it: dark parking lot and a stranger approaching me.  Anyone else see me with my back up and my fists clenched?  Turns out there was no threat.  Here’s the convo:

Him: Hey beautiful, you forgot something.

Me: (eyebrow cocked) No I didn’t, but thanks.

Him: Yeah you did.  You forgot to give me your number.

Me: (rolling my eyes) That’s original.  You won’t be getting it.  Have a good night.

Him: (grabs my forearm) Come on baby, you know that I got what you need. (proceeds to grab his junk)

Why do guys think that’s gonna work??

Me: (Looks at his hand holding my arm then at him) You have 2 seconds to remove your hand or you’re going to get hurt.

Him: (moves in) You read those dirty books.  You know you like it dirty.  I can give it to you.

Me: (He made the wrong decision.  So I grabbed his hand and bent his thumb back, and kneed him in the balls) I have a man and he gives it better than you ever could.  And you didn’t listen.  Wrong woman to mess with.  I can make it so every time you swallow, you choke on your own balls.

 

I really try not to get into altercations.  Why do people provoke me?

 

<sigh> My life is never boring.