Jul. 22, 2017


More craziness as expected of an #AdventuresofCeej episode, so beware.

Today, I went to get my hair chopped and styled in a pretty salon by a professional.  Pretty normal, right?  Not for me.  My hair was long.  It was almost to my ass.  However, this isn’t where the crazy comes in.  I showed up in the neighborhood of the salon 20 minutes early because I was warned about how bad traffic and parking would be, thanks to a car show a couple blocks over.  As I sat at a red light with my windows down, after circling the block twice already, this guy walks up close to my open passenger window and says:

Him: Hey, I will move my car so you can have this spot if you suck my dick.  Those lips would be beautiful wrapped around it.

WHAT.  THE.  FUCK.  I did not do anything to get his attention.  How did I warrant it?  How in the ever-loving hell do I keep attracting jackasses like him?

Me: (cue the tip of the shades) Even if you had a dick instead of being one, I wouldn’t even consider it.

Him: (has the gall to brace his arms on the door) Come on.  You know you want the parking spot bad. I give, you give, huh?

Me: (reaching behind the passenger seat and into the pocket) You have two seconds to back up off my car or I’ll (dramatic pause and eyebrow lift) hurt you.

Him: (backing away and flicking me off) Fuck you, you stuck up fat bitch.

Me: (as I roll up my windows) Good luck finding an actual dick for someone to suck!


<sigh>  My life is never boring.