Oct. 15, 2016

Working on Getting Better

I had been in a majorly depressive funk (if you’ve read my earlier posts, you understand) and what shook me out of it was a doctor’s appointment and plans for scans to see if the cancer had spread.  It was time to stop feeling sorry for myself.  After over a week of wanting to die, I found my mad.  I kicked cancer’s ass and I’ll do so again.  My closest friends and family deserve to see me as strong and fighting. 

My Twin (Maria) had put up with so much from me.  She was there every day, every hour, every minute, every second of my depressive funk even though it hurt her to know what was running through my head.  How did I deserve someone like her?  She is A-M-A-Z-I-N-G! 

My angel sister (Michelle) and I hadn’t chatted in a while because I refused to drag her down with me.  It hit me when our mutual Fave asked about our friendship.  It showed that I had obviously been a bad friend.

I hadn’t said anything to my best guy friend and bro (Jason).  I knew that if he knew how bad the thoughts in my head were, he’d have grabbed my SIL and nephews and come up from Oregon.

I didn’t contact my Sunshine (Amber) because I didn’t feel that I deserved her light and I didn’t want to blast her for no reason.

My sis (Diana) also put up with so much from me.  Man, I don’t know how she didn’t smack me every day.

My coworkers put up with my surliness, my grumpiness, and worried about why I was so quiet.  Yikes.

Many people were worried!  I feel so stupid!  If I could kick myself harder, I would.  I know Maria, Michelle, Jason, Diana, and Amber would kick me, too.  You know it’s bad when people comment on how you’re not posting on Facebook much other than to promote one of my Fave’s books.

I’m working on getting better.

As usual, until later…be safe and be kind to one another.