Feb. 10, 2017

"I AM the storm."

“Fate whispers to the warrior, ‘You cannot withstand the storm.’ The warrior whispers back, ‘I am the storm.’” ~Unknown

There comes a time when you have to accept that your life will never get back to the way it used to be, no matter how hard you wish it would.  Three years ago last November, my life changed and brought all new challenges.  It seemed that my life prior to that was a breeze, a smooth ride.  I have had moments where I wanted to give up.  Where I wanted to die.  I don’t want that anymore.

I saw yet another specialist yesterday for what seems like the millionth time.  It has been determined that I have another disease that will require daily injections.  It is the reason why I have so many problems with my hands and joints, and fevers.  It is a rare disease that is both autoimmune and autoinflammatory.  Fun, right?  The medication will ease some symptoms, but will increase my risk for cancer due to my other illness and history of cancer. 

I must admit that I had my moments of “WTF”, “why me”, and tears.  However, I’ve come to the point where all I want to say is, “Bring It!  I got this!”  A huge part of that is thanks to my Twin, my SSSweets, my Bubba baby (my baby sis), and my honey of a friend.  And a certain “Elijah”.  They all helped me realize that it’s just another challenge and that I will get through it, especially with their help.  If you have seen how I look, you would never know that I have so many health issues, none of them related to my size or weight.  Honestly, if I weren’t so stubborn, I could qualify for disability.  I refuse to do that unless I absolutely have to.  Now don’t get me wrong, I do not look down on those who do.  “Do you.” (Quoted from one of my absolute favorite people, Heather)

My body is riddled with pain and scars, but all it does is serve to remind me that I’m alive (paraphrased from my Fave Audrey Carlan).  I have plans and a disease and possible future cancer will not stop me.  If you’re reading this, don’t let anything stop you from living.  I’m not. 

Fate, I got one message for you:  I AM the storm.

 

Until later…be safe and be kind to one another.