Mar. 8, 2017

"Everyone deserves LOVE!"

This post has been running around in my head for the past three days.  On Monday, I received confirmation that I have an autoimmune AND autoinflammatory disease.  Due to my current health and past medical history, my treatment options are limited.  The only effective treatment option is a daily shot.  The problem with is that it also increases my chances for yet another round of cancer.  My attitude and mood plummeted.  My first thought was not “why me?”  It was, “I need to let ‘Eli’ go.  He doesn’t need to waste his time on someone who will constantly be sick and in pain.  He can shower his love on someone who deserves it and can fully give it back.”  And of course, even after a chat with a wise friend, he caught me at a very low point and it slipped out.  He wasn’t angry.  He was hurt, and that was the last thing I wanted to do.  It took every ounce of pleading I had to stop him from coming over to talk.  I needed to reason this out for myself and get past it.  What brought me over that last step to get past it was chatting with some of my favorite people.  Here are two direct quotes showcasing the wisdom I was blessed to receive:

“Everyone deserves LOVE!  It doesn’t matter whether it’s for a time or forever.  You never know how you’ll impact his life or him yours.  Don’t take that away from yourself.”

“You need to let people in.  You are worthy of loving.  The only one who doesn’t believe it is you, silly.”

We all have low moments, especially when we’re dealing with things out of our control.  Our insecurities don’t bother to line up.  They jump in our faces even after we acknowledge them.  They don’t stop until we give in and break in some way.  How many of you are like me?  Do you look in the mirror and cringe?  Do you look at your body, with all its imperfections and scars, and cry?  If you have illnesses and/or disabilities, do you wonder if anyone would ever be willing to spend their time with you when you don’t feel well?  Do you wonder how the hell anyone could look at you?  If you haven’t found the love of your life yet, do wonder if you ever will?  Do you think about all the things you do wrong and wonder how people put up with you?  Do you ever question how people can love you?  Well stop it.  I mean it.  Stop it.  Don’t try.  Just stop.  I am. 

You know that overused saying, “life is short?”  We all know it’s true.  Life is too short to stop yourself from grabbing every ounce of love you can.  It doesn’t have to be a romantic love.  It just has to be love. 

No matter what you are going through, I ask you to repeat these two things until you believe it in the depths of your soul:

I deserve love.  I am worthy of love.

Like my favorite Goddess said, “Everyone deserves LOVE!”

 

Until later my beautifuls…be safe and be kind to one another.