Apr. 3, 2017

What's your definition of beauty? Is it yours or society's?

Have you ever looked in the mirror and cringed?  Have you ever looked at yourself and wondered what the hell happened?  I have.  To be completely honest, I do those things frequently.  Maybe I don’t do them as much as I used to, but I still do them.  I’ve been told that I’m beautiful, gorgeous, cute, adorable, lovely, etc.  Now I’m not saying that to make myself look good.  I say that because I don’t always believe them even when the source is genuine.  Yes, I do have low self-esteem.  Not something you want people to know, right?  Well, I don’t care.  I know who loves me for me and that’s more than I ever thought possible.

I’m a big woman.  More of me jiggles more than I want to admit.  I have scars.  I have marks.  Why do I let them define me?  I’m much more than that fat in my body.  I’m much more than my scars and marks.  Why do I let society’s definition of beauty make me feel inadequate?  Is society perfect?  Is society working on bettering others?  Do they lift people up or do they drive people down?  I’ve spent a lot of time wondering why I let others’ opinion of me become what I think of myself.  I won’t lie, it’s difficult to stop it after a few decades worth of what I like to call, brainwashing.  I understand the health concerns.  I understand that what people think is beautiful may be different from others.  The problem is not only in pushing your beliefs onto someone else.  It’s making them yours when it opposes everything in your heart and soul.

I will admit that I take a lot of selfies.  That doesn’t mean that I’m vain.  It means that I’m trying to encourage myself by looking for the beauty in…myself.  All too often, I see my flaws.  My lips and nose are too big.  My eyes are too slanted.  My face is too fat.  My eyebrows need waxing.  My earlobes don’t separate from my head.  But do you know what I’m teaching myself to see?  My lips and nose are perfect for affectionate kisses.  My eyes are the color of deliciously aged whiskey.  My face shows the beauty of my people and soft skin.  My eyebrows are full of character and help me get my point across.  My earlobes…well, let’s just say I’m working on that one.  Like I mentioned earlier, I’m a big woman.  I was taught from an early age that if you’re fat, no one will like you.  I’m here to say that it’s not true.  Some say that it’s the beauty within that attracts people.  I don’t disagree.  However, I believe that it’s the inner beauty that enhances what’s on the outside.  It shines the light on what people often ignore.

What I’m trying to say is, no matter how many flaws you see in yourself, there are many more displays of pure beauty.  You just need to see it for yourself.  I guarantee that others see it.  Try to see what we do, but define beauty by what you feel within your heart and soul.  Try to ignore what “everyone” thinks beauty is.  It’ll be worth the effort, I promise.


Until later beautifuls…be safe and be kind to one another.