Jan. 30, 2018

Pain and living your life for YOU.

Pain.  We all experience it for one reason or another, right?  How many of us live with that glaring reminder every single minute of the day?  Now how many of us have times where the pain almost becomes unbearable and there’s nothing we can do to stop or prevent it?  If you mentally raised your hand to the last two questions, I’m so sorry.  I literally feel your pain.  My next few questions may make you think. 

Do you have a support system in place?  Do you have anyone in your life that truly understands?  I sincerely hope you do.  While they cannot take the pain away, it does make it easier to endure when you have someone on your side, cheering you on. 

On the other side of the spectrum, is there anyone in your life that makes snap judgements because they don’t know what you’re going through?  Has anyone given you half-assed advice because they have no idea what’s really happening?  Have they accused you of anything as it pertains to your pain or how you deal with it?  Now my advice may offend or shock people, maybe it won’t, but…FUCK ‘EM.  DO NOT listen to people who have no idea what the fuck they’re talking about.  DO NOT listen to people who are not or have not gone through what you are.  They can have all the education in the world, but until they experience it, they have no goddamned idea.

I guess you can tell that I have a few of those people in my life.  In my low moments, I think about conforming just so people can get off my back.  But fuck that.  They don’t know what I’m going through.  They don’t know that I’m trying to live my life instead of end it even though I often think about it.  They don’t know that I fight every minute to get to the next and hold onto the hope that the pain will ease so I can move.  They don’t know that I put myself through hell because I have responsibilities.  BUT I know. 

So, I’m going to forget their unsolicited and unqualified opinions.  If you’re fighting the same or a similar fight (God, I’m so sorry) and you have people who do this to you, I ask that you think about doing the same as I am.  Do what’s right for you, nevermind what everyone else thinks.  Live your life for you.

For those that like to give unqualified advice but do so with a good heart, please remember that the person who is suffering in your life needs your support, not your advice.  Be the shoulder they need.  Be the ear they can vent to.  Give them love and kindness.  Be the one that cheers them on.  Be the one that makes them smile even when they want to sob.  Be the light in their darkness.


Until laters beautifuls…be safe and be kind to one another.